Street Walker

My ass is quite simply my ass. I have a few rules about my rear: "Nothing in. No one but Jon can touch it. Lastly, no one speaks about ass good or bad, and that's final!" Unfortunately, male drivers do not seem to understand this rule.
I decided to suck up my dislike of public transportation/walking over thirty minutes to get anywhere and went to the mall with my sister. I had receive my gifts from my family a little early and, of course, mostly got cash. Time to spend! The mall part was fun. I enjoyed spending time with my littlest sister. I feel like we have more in common than me and the other one.
The part of today I had a problem with was the hour walk home. The problem was not the fact that I was going on in hour walk in the freezing cold in my flats. (Why did I choose the most unsensible walking shoe ever created? Why?!) My problem were the male drivers that interrupted my walk home.
First creep: I have already been walking for about twenty minutes and realized that I was ten times more out of shape than I ever thought. Out of the corner of my eye I see a car slowly down near me. I, because I fear being alone in the dark, carry a little flip-y open-y knife that I found in the parking lot of my old work. I put my left hand in my pocket and open the knife a little, ready just in case. The car is now right next to me. I try to quicken my pace a little and then the driver honks at me. I look over and the guy says, "Want a ride?" I sneer and say, "If I really needed a ride would I be walking dip-shit?" He looks me up and down and says, "There is no type of ride I can offer you?" I reply coldly, as I display the tip of the knife, "No, I do not fuck creepy losers nor do I let them give me a ride home. Now drive off." The guy must have had a stroke of genius because he sped off.
Second creep: Now I have my left hand glued to my knife because I am a little freaked out and my other hand is stuck on my cell phone. I hear a honk. I turn my head a tad and there is a guy half-hanging out of the window saying, "Sexy lady want to get high with us?" I roll my eyes and think to myself Great first sex is offered and now drugs. What next? Some guy will ask if I want to join him and ask if I want to do a drive-by? I shake my head and start walking even faster. "Come on baby. I won't bite, unless you want me too." I laughed to myself thinking of how dumb that guy sounded and how much I wanted him to fall out of the window. "I suggest you leave me alone fuckface." The guy laughed and told his friend to drive off and leave "the dumb bitch".

Ugh, seriously some guys out there are really sad and need to grow up. Just because I am walking (granted in the dark) by myself does not mean I want to get laid or get stoned. I wanted to get home!