Help Me Untie This

her soft gasp for air haunts me.
in the silence of the twilight,
i can hear what you told me not to.

her similar face i see in the mirror.
in the burning of high afternoon,
i quietly scream at myself to be her.

regardless of the smiles,
sometimes i have to hide.
in the corner of this new dwelling,
i cry out to a god i have no faith in.
asking him, pleading with him,
to make me forget just this situation.

even though i claim to hate you.
no matter how much i promise myself,
that you will be put into my past.
every time you call,
you know i'll answer that phone.
and for that, i am ashamed.