Skittles

Maybe not everyone has seen this commercial but I must talk about it.
The latest skittles commercial is ridiculous.
Basically, there is this old guy and everything he touches turns to skittles.
The young(adult) male and female are all excited and said something to the effect of "That's awesome!"
Then, the old man says something to the effect of "Did you get to hold your newborn child? Were you able to dress yourself today? I wasn't."
The commercial ends with the old man turning (by accident of course) his work phone and desk into skittles and the male and female next to him nonchalantly eating skittles.

This commercial is weird.
The first thing I said after watching it was, "Dude, he couldn't masturbate or his dick would turn into skittles!"
Yes, this is the first thing I say in response to the commercial.
Talk about mature.
I know.
Seriously though, how horrible would life be if everything you touched turned to skittles?
On the bright side, if you knew someone with this problem how awesome would it be for you to be their friend?

I would hate to have the 'rainbow' touch but if Jonathan had it....I think it'd be okay.
Wait, then....he'd never be able to be intimate with me again.

Okay, if I had a friend (in which I didn't really touch or hang out with that much) had this problem it would be awesome.