Hide That Bunny

There is drool going down my jacket. I have two blankets wrapped around me but I am still in this half asleep half frozen awake trance. I watch Jon's father and stepmother enter the garage and start to bring our stuff into the house.

I get a few stares. I do not care. It is seven in the morning. I have been in this car for over ten hours and I do not know how to respond to the destination yet.

Grumbling and rubbing the thick layers of sleep from my eyes I get out of the car and try to help. I start to pick up my clothes and put them into the laundry bins that T (the stepmom) brought down. In the middle of it all I find the huge pink vibrator Jon had bought me, not this last Christmas but the one before it. I stuff it quickly in the pocket of a pair of sweatpants I found and continued to sort through the rest of the clothes.

I did not think T would be doing our laundry, let alone at seven in the morning.

Twenty minutes later I am in the bathroom washing my face and I hear T giggle. I go back down to the garage and notice the laundry bins are gone. After a moment, I realize that she is upstairs doing the laundry and she might have already found my pink vibrator.

(For the record, I never really use it. I do not need to. It is a beast of a toy though. There are little white beads, a pink bunny on it, and it's this crazy contraption.)

I wait til G (the dad) leaves and tell Jon. He laughs and tells me to go tell her. I have only met his folks once, and due to my accident I cannot remember meeting them. I flip him off, shove him towards the door and get back in the car pretending I am busy with something. He comes back down and hands me the toy. I quickly ram it under my seat and begin to calm down.

G comes back down and tells us where to start putting the Xbox 360 and the guitars for Rock Band and Guitar Hero. As I untangle the guitar wires, T comes down laughing very loudly.

T: "Oh children!"
(I look away)
J: "Heather didn't want to go up there and tell you."
T: "It is so cute though."
G: "What are y'all talking about?"
H: "No idea. I am so tired. I could use some sleep. Wow, such a long trip. What a long trip. I hate long trips."
T: "I bet you two kids would love to go to bed."
(T winks)
(I concentrate on my shoes)
G: "I am confused."
J: "I wish I was."
T: "G it's nothing! You don't want to know dear. *giggle* It's between me and the children."
(G walks out)
T: "Oh sweetheart look at you blush!"
(I give Jon a look that is supposed to say "WHY DID YOU PACK THAT DAMN THING ANYWAY?")
J: "Well I am going to shit."
H: "I am going to ... hide in a dark empty place."
T: "I will change the sheets."



Omgsh.
Thank gosh she didn't open the glove compartment.
She would have found the case containing the vibrator that is actually used.

Living with boyfriend and boyfriend's parents is ... too much fun.